Ehel

to complete a novel by summer.
to complete another novel by the end of summer.
to attempt to get published.
to get published.
to stop procrastinating.
to stop being negative.
to live...? (:

let me cut to chase.
insomnia is the best and worst thing that ever happened to me

the good, i get work done, the bad, i don't sleep and i do shitty in school.

Pandora radio is the best <3

also, less lies would make me admit that i just ate a SHITLOAD of crackers.

and streaming sites, WTF. i don't want to buy a subscription.
and i certainly don't want to watch 72 minutes and then have to wait 54 to watch a little more of the movie
where the fuck did those numbers come from anyway?

so any good streaming sites would be awesome to the, uh, 1 person i give this link to to read this blog.



yupyup.



27/54 minutes left.


FUCK.

sweet child o' mine - guns n roses

there could be several reasons why i am not sleeping.
maybe it's the insomnia that will drain my energy but not my brains ability to be conscious. .

Or maybe it's an evil rabbit that is standing right outside of my door. He can see me through the cracks and I feel his eyes. I know that if I scream nobody will wake up in time to save me. Or maybe I won't make a sound, like the tree falling in the forest.

He is listening to me typing right now. He can hear my heart beat. I am utterly alone and i just want to sleep.
I want him to know that I like him. more than i should.

i don't know how to describe him.
i suppose he is a purple color, maybe blue.
the light makes it hard to see him.
he has silver eyes and large teeth.
he kind of scares me but then i realize that if he wanted to hurt me that he would of already.

he's just watching.
watching, watching, watching...
my pulse speeds up and my eyes glaze over.
i keep looking at the crack in my door and seeing him.

he's here to help me. i don't know with what.
i wonder if he has a name.
i just know he's a boy.

he's still watching.
i don't know what to do.
i fear to near him to close the door.
i am afraid that he will grab my arm and pull me into abyss.

breathe, rachel.

he just took a step.
i heard the floorboards creak underneath the carpet.
the door looks like it's opening but it might be an illusion.
i'm choking on my spit that's welling up in my mouth.

swallow, rachel.

he's coming closer to me.
i wonder what he wants.
he's so lovely, he is.

i wonder what he would feel like.
he's not made of fur.
i feel like if i stroked him it would be like a reptile.
maybe i will hug him.

i love him, afterall.

So, after many long months without music, I have finally fixed my iPod, Louis. (LOO - EE)

I had to bang it around quite a bit (that's what he said), but he came through alive and well. I don't think any new music will ever be able to be added to Louis, but I love him just the same...



On the note of my stalker, he seems to be dying down a bit.
I know nobody reads this blog, but just the same I will write as through anyone who happens across this will read and feel comforted.

I got my hair cut... It's not really different, but I'm bleaching it in a few days and then maybe seeing what I can do with it from there...


Myspace.com/theworldisntreal
AIM: savethefuturex
MSN: thesunwouldrise@hotmail.com

SHINE ON - JET

Okay.

What kind of sick MF thinks he can get off and go and rape some little girl?
I'm just kidding, i'm not going to blog about that.

WEEZER: the sickest bank of all time.
RYAN ROSS: the pussy I adore.
ANDREW MCMAHON: talented, handsome...married.

 

Err.
Oh, girl's clothes.
There is no way that a pair of jeans should cost $40. That is just ridiculous.
And a shirt for $45?

But then boys have better clothing that lasts longer and is cheaper.

This is a random blog.
I haven't blogged for a long time.


Twilight.
Does anyone else agree that that's the dumbest book since The Old Man and the Sea?
Seriously, the whole series is foreplay and the last book is the sex.
YUMM.
Because we all want to read Stephenie Meyer's sick fantasies.
Really.
She needs to grow up.

Also, did anyone notice Edward being an abusive boyfriend? Look up the signs, he shows most of them.

Bella: the dumbest character of all time. She's so dumb and clingy. Can she be more desperate? I doubt it.
And then everyone has to talk about it.
I don't care if you read them, but please for the love of God, stop asking me if I have.
((EDWARD IS A PUSSY.))
((TEAM JACOB!!))

Oh, Jesus, I have a headache.
Anonymous comments are my favorite.

None. My parents have let me read whatever I wanted to read because they trust me.

I wish that I was free. I want to see the city lights before I go to sleep. I want to hear the traffic and the angry people.
I want to get out of here and be free.

I want to be on top of the world and touch the sky.
I want to breathe and feel and be.




I have no idea what ^that^ is. Kind of how I feel. Hmmm. 


Inside I hope you know I'm dying
With my heart beside me
In shattered pieces that may never be replaced
And if I died right now you'd never be the same
THREE YEARS FOR FIVE YEARS. Mayday Parade.

Stephen Colbert. He doesn't seem like a liar. I get a good vibe from him. Unlike Obama. I get the most horrible vibe from that guy.
But yeah. Stephen Colbert is one funny bastard.

Who honestly wants to read books for school?!!!

Not me, that's for sure. And it doesn't help when the teacher assigns fifty thousand pages for one night. Am I going to spend my time reading that? No.

And grammar. It can get soooo annoying sometimes, that you just want to correct it. But it's not a big deal when you accidentally put underlining and italics instead of QUOTES!!!!

Well, the point is....

It's Sunday and I haven't done my homework for 5 weeks+ and gaining. 

Suggestion. Even if only Jae reads and comments.
Go to 43things.com and make a list of your goals.

If you want to see mine....
http://www.43things.com/person/ehel

A good way to kill time and think about your life.

-EHEL

I swear that I could go on forever, again.
Please let me know, that my one bad day will end.
I will go down as your lover, your friend.
Give me your lips, and with one kiss, we'd begin.
Are you afraid of being alone?
'Cause I am. I'm lost without you. 
-I'm Lost Without You - Blink 182